Basketball and Autism Part 2

It was sportsfest in 2013 in the SS Division. My last year in college was an icing on the cake of the struggles that I had faced in my life. I had my third championship in the Sportsfest in the SS Division facing the first years and defeated them by half 54-26. There was one person on that opposing team who caught my eye, a point guard from Political Science. The one I mentioned in my previous blog. That guy that I am talking about was a dependable playmaker who is tall and athletic. In practices where we met, I admire how he would drop me the ball which other guards in the team cannot. He is the one who always receive my outlet passes when I get the rebound or loose balls. However, there were limitations that time, we do not often have a familiarity with each other. Because we seldom practice as a team, 4 times to be exact. The other thing is that we are four school years apart. We have little chance to open up with each other and develop the chemistry and camaraderie. There was a time too that I blurted out to him my frustrations. Maybe hurting  him but he just walked away peacefully. I tried to apologize but it was too late.  I do not have the chance to see, play and talk to this guy again. There was a feeling of “contempt”. It was the difficulty that I have, not really knowing what I should feel emotionally. Am I going to get angry or frustrated?

One and a half year later in 2015, things turned around. It was as if nothing happened. When we saw each other in the campus, I discovered that God worked on him that time. It was a miracle that he would still talk to me. Then shortly after, I was shocked to see him in the varsity. My feeling of “contempt” continued  because when he tried to talk to me I would just laugh at him. In my mind, I thought “If you would be my friend you might just betray me or leave me because of my condition.” That continued even when that guy offered me to accompany him after the practice as we went to our respective homes I thought “I do not want to be taken advantage of”. The heavy feeling continued. The next year when I saw him in CCF, the church I attended , the feeling was like “What in the world are you doing here?” Then  we met twice. During the second encounter, that was  Saturday morning. As far as I had remembered, it was their practice in SS and at the same time the program of the CCF Sports ministry, I cannot forget about it because he had done bizarre things like getting the ball three times(which is CCF’s ball). I was wondering why he did it. In my mind during that day, I had an impression of him as “feeling close, we do not even see each other always” Then, there was something bothering in my mind afterwards and cannot even sleep for a month then. That was mixed emotions.  I would be literally out of my mind for two months. Maybe it was a learning process. God had fought the impurities in me during that time. Yes we saw each other, but the lack of sleep triggered mood swings and negative thoughts that I had and sometimes  I would greet the guy and sometimes I don’t. But I messaged this guy,  admitting my insecurities, envy and lack of social skills. It was a difficult time for me because I struggled so hard dealing my disability but my family would always help me deal with it by praying and guiding me.

It wasn’t until mid August 2016, my negative feelings subsided and that miracles happen again inside me, he would still treat me as if nothing happened. That was unconditional love and it was God who orchestrated the situation. All negative feelings go away in a split second. I slept soundly again. Since then, it was a new beginning. We talk often through message or calls and sharing the Good news to him from the Bible. All the doubts had been erased. Despite a busy schedule and demand in the program, I managed to let him join the line-up of my team in CCF.  My feeling of contempt became admiration. All I had to think about this guy is that God made this person to have a special purpose in my life. I have kept supporting and praying for this guy wherever he was and always tell him “Jesus loves you”. He took time to respond and tears of joy went out from him uttering “Thank you.” He slowly opened up himself to me and I hope I can help him by just listening to him with compassion. I was delighted to support them in the SS Sportsfest in 2017 again rooting for his team. They eventually became champions and I hugged him as if I were a big brother to him. In addition to that I had always reminded him that he is an inspiration to me and hopefully to others too. That was music to his ears. I saw the grace of God and His love working between us. I thank God that despite my condition, this guy had understood me.

Lesson

Through that experience I had learned that we are created special and different. Insecurities happen when you do not know who you really are. I didn’t know too much of my insecurities as well as my difficulties. But through that experience I learned so many especially about forgiveness, acceptance, love, compassion, patience etc.and it made me closer to God. God mold me in life through it and change my perspective in any circumstances. Romans 8:28 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” And we know God had done unmerited favor to us to enter His Kingdom Ephesians 2:8-10 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. I was reminded as well of the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35. I see how Jesus teaches us how to love and God had used the series of events to demonstrate how to love unconditionally. What is your gain to love the ones who loved you even unbelievers do that. (Matthew 5:34-58)

Though forgiving and reconciliation are related, they are different. But Jesus can do that both upon God’s Purpose. Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” It came from Christ “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.” 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 indeed that was God’s purpose and still this blog is not enough to explain what I had learned in the experience.

To whom it may concern, I hope that you will know that God is always at your side. Just focus and trust in Him always. Jesus loves you always.

More revelations to come so stay tuned.