Trust the Process
So it a year I wrote my blog which was featured in Dakilang Baller featuring my experience with a fellow SS player. Now it is time to write another article regarding that matter.
http://dakilangballer.blogspot.com/2017/04/basketball-and-autism-ross-gomez.html
Since the first release of my article I would like to express my gratitude to God, for His all-knowing presence and omnipotence in my life right now. I would like to express my gratitude to my family who became prayer warriors in fighting Autism. I would like to thank the whole CCF community for showing Christ likeness in every time. I would like to thank the few friends from DRANHS who are loyal to me. I would also like to appreciate the support of the Ateneo Community for making me feel accepted. At this time I would focus on thanking a certain group of people who push me the best I could be.
The person that I mentioned in my Basketball and Autism Blogs 1 and 2 has another continuation here. This time this is my public appreciation to this guy which I knew from my team in the Social Sciences Division. As we continue to see and communicate each other on a regular basis. I knew this person more and God has planted in my heart to plant seeds of righteousness which we can achieve through Jesus Christ in his heart.
There is a lesson I had learned here, I need to cling on to God rather than men thanks to the help of Alfonso Torres and Salem Colina one of the kuyas who guided me in CCF. I would like to thank Jemerson Canaya fellow brother in Christ who is from CCF who gave clarity for the group of people I have to mention, it is God's Spirit who moved me and guide my walked everyday. Here is the story why, there were still the struggle in my heart that I depend more on people rather than God. Sometimes when I felt like finding the company if this person. I prayed and tried my best to meet this guy, to enlighten this person to build his intimacy with God. But tight deadlines, schedules and requirement hindered our contact due to the fact our lives become busier than ever.
One day in a certain Gym in Davao which I inquired, this guy showed up and I was shocked what to do. My spirit was searching for answers that time what in the world am I doing. I need the belonging and acceptance of people around me. I played basketball that time in that familiar gym in Torres to vent out my frustrations in dealing people who do not understand my condition. This play-making guy from SS and his friend from his batch from the famous Chinese Christian school in Davao were there. Despite playing good that game. I screamed when I lose the ball and my intention there is to get the vent out my frustration and to find person who can accept me who I am. Though it is not the wisest thing to do God allowed it to make me understand the realities this world is.
Then two days later finding the belonging that I lost as I had graduated college, my foot went wayward to a cetain basketball gym in Obrero and I saw the Filipino-Chinese and pure Chinese playing playing there. Desperate to know the mysteries of this friend of mine, I had met his batchmates in a Chinese Christian school in Davao. These batchmates of his were friendly like him. I wonder how special are they also.They also had the same mentality of the person I met in my SS days they are unselfish when they play. I told them that he goes to CCF occasionally and was my teammate in CCF and in the Social Science Division. I told the the experiences I had with this friend of mine that he reminded me of my best friends in high school. Definitely, his group of friends in that said school acted out like my best friends in high school. How lovely to see their imperfection and how lovely to see their gifts as a person. How lovely to play with them and how sweet it is to feel the presence of God in my heart as I carefully planned every move I made.
As I knew them one by one, I was glad that they are open for friendship. I disclose my difficulty (Autism) to them. I expressed every feeling inside me. I expressed what obsessed me. I expressed the real me. As I had been under a program that helps special needs in the work for 8 months I had always maintained a communication with them thanks for the encouragement of the SS guy to build friendship with them like I build it with him in the past. As the days and months pass by. They were of big help to alleviate my struggles in adjusting to a next chapter in life.
Part 2 Going back to where I started in a better way.
Earlier this year I felt so down losing motivation to love my work and I realized that I need self respect. Struggling with obsession for acceptance for a certain person, who happened to carry me during the fellowship night on a culminating program held by a known school in Davao in Lanang Business Park at the end of last year. Not realizing that I could fall into sin against God, my obsession carried on to a point where this situation happened. It was unpleasant to my Godly friends they see me carried by a guy an act of humiliation, even for me I tried to have fun. That time my Godly friends are hurt when people mocked my autism. Although we should love our enemies but we ought to have self-respect not to destroy your image in public.
The friend I met in my SS days played in a Gym near Cabaguio. I blurted out my frustrations, expectations and obsessions to this friend of mine. It almost cost my friendship with him. Fortunately a certain friend of him who happens to be his batch in the famous Chinese Christian school in Davao pacified the situation and both of us. That was my worst nightmare that I would spill over my obsession to the insignificant guy to a friend who was willing to listen. As time passes by this friend realized that my obsessions and inappropriate behaviors grew worse, I hear constant rebuke from him, some take as "buyboy" but I took it like fire burning all the negativity in my twisted mind. He was angry with my obsessions. He prevented obsessions to be spread and I appreciated how he handled it. His other friends who have their respective careers had told me to focus on reading the Bible and focus on God rather than stalking on other people. Through their anger I saw deeper reason beyond people would think, it gave me the signal that I would depend on God more and not to be preoccupied by people. They also made me realize to focus my own pursuit rather to please people around me. They also had a piece of advice on how I behave in social media. Although some people from my other group of friend gave their advice in my behavior in social media with the relevance to cyberbully, their advice from this SS friend together with those other friends he has in famous Chinese Christian school in Davao struck me the most.
Extra...
Still struggling to advocate myself to other people who do not know about autism, I saw some people and clubs who are not fully understanding my condition. They doubt me playing basketball because they feared that my inappropriate behavior would surface and destroy their image. Some have not trusted my potential. Some have flat out dislike me. Despite effort in improving myself in and of the court there are circumstance which is still beyond reach and we cannot please everybody. I realized that I am stressing the thing that do not matter. Why would I just rest on God's salvation instead? Fear and anger is the enemy. I now need to build myself in the likeness of God now.
Looking forward..
As a person who advocate autism through basketball, trusting the process like Joel Embiid and the Philadelphia 76ers is crucial. I had waiting pains but need to trust that it is temporary. By always surrendering to God yourself to Him. You are renewed everyday because you are a new creation by the grace of God through Jesus. Hope to maintain where I started my 2nd life ten years ago. Through these group of friends from the famous Chinese Christian school, I felt the urge to exert effort to the maximum and desire God's standard of greatness. Through these people I seek my belonging in Jesus who is the ultimate bestfriend.
My last words today for them is that I want to spend a new beginning with them. Seeing them at all-out support in me, though they may act out silly at times but as the times pass by It made me laugh instead of being angry. To enjoy fully their company especially as teammates in certain leagues within this city, I wanted his company in the floor. I am looking forward to a better me. I am grateful to have these people who have the mentality of being yourself and there is no need to impress them. Conflicts in opinions come to us, differences and negativity comes and goes but it does happen to everyone and the best thing you can do is to change perspective. Though I had gain such amount of group of friends in my life this reliable playmaker from my SS days together with those select group of people of that Chinese School in Davao were meant to be special being special as a teammates to be play with, friend and most of trusting the long process in Christ.
http://dakilangballer.blogspot.com/2017/04/basketball-and-autism-ross-gomez.html
Since the first release of my article I would like to express my gratitude to God, for His all-knowing presence and omnipotence in my life right now. I would like to express my gratitude to my family who became prayer warriors in fighting Autism. I would like to thank the whole CCF community for showing Christ likeness in every time. I would like to thank the few friends from DRANHS who are loyal to me. I would also like to appreciate the support of the Ateneo Community for making me feel accepted. At this time I would focus on thanking a certain group of people who push me the best I could be.
The person that I mentioned in my Basketball and Autism Blogs 1 and 2 has another continuation here. This time this is my public appreciation to this guy which I knew from my team in the Social Sciences Division. As we continue to see and communicate each other on a regular basis. I knew this person more and God has planted in my heart to plant seeds of righteousness which we can achieve through Jesus Christ in his heart.
There is a lesson I had learned here, I need to cling on to God rather than men thanks to the help of Alfonso Torres and Salem Colina one of the kuyas who guided me in CCF. I would like to thank Jemerson Canaya fellow brother in Christ who is from CCF who gave clarity for the group of people I have to mention, it is God's Spirit who moved me and guide my walked everyday. Here is the story why, there were still the struggle in my heart that I depend more on people rather than God. Sometimes when I felt like finding the company if this person. I prayed and tried my best to meet this guy, to enlighten this person to build his intimacy with God. But tight deadlines, schedules and requirement hindered our contact due to the fact our lives become busier than ever.
One day in a certain Gym in Davao which I inquired, this guy showed up and I was shocked what to do. My spirit was searching for answers that time what in the world am I doing. I need the belonging and acceptance of people around me. I played basketball that time in that familiar gym in Torres to vent out my frustrations in dealing people who do not understand my condition. This play-making guy from SS and his friend from his batch from the famous Chinese Christian school in Davao were there. Despite playing good that game. I screamed when I lose the ball and my intention there is to get the vent out my frustration and to find person who can accept me who I am. Though it is not the wisest thing to do God allowed it to make me understand the realities this world is.
Then two days later finding the belonging that I lost as I had graduated college, my foot went wayward to a cetain basketball gym in Obrero and I saw the Filipino-Chinese and pure Chinese playing playing there. Desperate to know the mysteries of this friend of mine, I had met his batchmates in a Chinese Christian school in Davao. These batchmates of his were friendly like him. I wonder how special are they also.They also had the same mentality of the person I met in my SS days they are unselfish when they play. I told them that he goes to CCF occasionally and was my teammate in CCF and in the Social Science Division. I told the the experiences I had with this friend of mine that he reminded me of my best friends in high school. Definitely, his group of friends in that said school acted out like my best friends in high school. How lovely to see their imperfection and how lovely to see their gifts as a person. How lovely to play with them and how sweet it is to feel the presence of God in my heart as I carefully planned every move I made.
As I knew them one by one, I was glad that they are open for friendship. I disclose my difficulty (Autism) to them. I expressed every feeling inside me. I expressed what obsessed me. I expressed the real me. As I had been under a program that helps special needs in the work for 8 months I had always maintained a communication with them thanks for the encouragement of the SS guy to build friendship with them like I build it with him in the past. As the days and months pass by. They were of big help to alleviate my struggles in adjusting to a next chapter in life.
Part 2 Going back to where I started in a better way.
Earlier this year I felt so down losing motivation to love my work and I realized that I need self respect. Struggling with obsession for acceptance for a certain person, who happened to carry me during the fellowship night on a culminating program held by a known school in Davao in Lanang Business Park at the end of last year. Not realizing that I could fall into sin against God, my obsession carried on to a point where this situation happened. It was unpleasant to my Godly friends they see me carried by a guy an act of humiliation, even for me I tried to have fun. That time my Godly friends are hurt when people mocked my autism. Although we should love our enemies but we ought to have self-respect not to destroy your image in public.
The friend I met in my SS days played in a Gym near Cabaguio. I blurted out my frustrations, expectations and obsessions to this friend of mine. It almost cost my friendship with him. Fortunately a certain friend of him who happens to be his batch in the famous Chinese Christian school in Davao pacified the situation and both of us. That was my worst nightmare that I would spill over my obsession to the insignificant guy to a friend who was willing to listen. As time passes by this friend realized that my obsessions and inappropriate behaviors grew worse, I hear constant rebuke from him, some take as "buyboy" but I took it like fire burning all the negativity in my twisted mind. He was angry with my obsessions. He prevented obsessions to be spread and I appreciated how he handled it. His other friends who have their respective careers had told me to focus on reading the Bible and focus on God rather than stalking on other people. Through their anger I saw deeper reason beyond people would think, it gave me the signal that I would depend on God more and not to be preoccupied by people. They also made me realize to focus my own pursuit rather to please people around me. They also had a piece of advice on how I behave in social media. Although some people from my other group of friend gave their advice in my behavior in social media with the relevance to cyberbully, their advice from this SS friend together with those other friends he has in famous Chinese Christian school in Davao struck me the most.
Extra...
Still struggling to advocate myself to other people who do not know about autism, I saw some people and clubs who are not fully understanding my condition. They doubt me playing basketball because they feared that my inappropriate behavior would surface and destroy their image. Some have not trusted my potential. Some have flat out dislike me. Despite effort in improving myself in and of the court there are circumstance which is still beyond reach and we cannot please everybody. I realized that I am stressing the thing that do not matter. Why would I just rest on God's salvation instead? Fear and anger is the enemy. I now need to build myself in the likeness of God now.
Looking forward..
As a person who advocate autism through basketball, trusting the process like Joel Embiid and the Philadelphia 76ers is crucial. I had waiting pains but need to trust that it is temporary. By always surrendering to God yourself to Him. You are renewed everyday because you are a new creation by the grace of God through Jesus. Hope to maintain where I started my 2nd life ten years ago. Through these group of friends from the famous Chinese Christian school, I felt the urge to exert effort to the maximum and desire God's standard of greatness. Through these people I seek my belonging in Jesus who is the ultimate bestfriend.
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| Trust the Process |
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